My Life

The Loneliness of The Long Distance Rambler From RAMBLINGBOB in The Adventures of Rambling Bob (111 days old)

As I took to the perilous footways of The Crags of Cuntflipe just recently, I found myself awash with feelings of precise impunity. For too too long I had sat at home with my pets, the bold cat, J… more

A.R.S.E Rising From RAMBLINGBOB in The Adventures of Rambling Bob (147 days old)

Through the mist and dewy haze, I beheld the most noble of sights. Our organisation, like a moth from some ancient cocoon, stirred and threatened to return and cast its bonds asunder. Tall and l… more

Murder Most Foul From RAMBLINGBOB in The Adventures of Rambling Bob (265 days old)

I crept through the darkness -- --a harsh yellow light shone upon a brick wall and I saw his feet run up a steel staircase -- -- a fire exit door swung shut -- -- I tore up the stairs like a … more

The corpse and the creeper From RAMBLINGBOB in The Adventures of Rambling Bob (350 days old)

Light twas my footfall as I chanced a stride over the mushy carcass of Curbishley. I shooed Jasper aside as I clasped my kerchief to my nose and peered at his pathetic frame in the half light. The … more

An upsetting image of fiendish horror From RAMBLINGBOB in The Adventures of Rambling Bob (361 days old)

Unfortunately the stench hitherto mentioned in mine previous oeuvre has now permeated into my bedchamber and has taken on the disgusting odour of much ignominy. As the dim shackles of night were ca… more

There's a rancid pong in me vestibule... From RAMBLINGBOB in The Adventures of Rambling Bob (368 days old)

That’s right; I said there’s a rancid fucking pong in my vestibule. It’s been there for around sixteen minutes and it is driving me to utter distraction. Unfortunately, it reeks not of mint nor … more

A New Job From xlnoble in X Love is Noble (384 days old)

i have got a new job and i happy.... but i want to improve my life... and this job is no enough for it... i can use for it... but i must teach somethings to win...… more

Trek From RAMBLINGBOB in The Adventures of Rambling Bob (410 days old)

Out in the field. Heavy wind. Cow flew past head. Numb extremities. Frozen piss. More soon. RB… more

A veritable word on rambling. From RAMBLINGBOB in The Adventures of Rambling Bob (434 days old)

"...halfway into the opening of the anus until the hilt. However, back onto the subject of rambling, a veritable pastime which may empower and deflower the mid-day walker to such degree that he may… more

Rambling, A Sure Footing From RAMBLINGBOB in The Adventures of Rambling Bob (452 days old)

I decided after many moon's rest to put the bramble feelers out and test tread upon the idea of reforming the once guilded, Anarchist Ramblers of Scotland and England. Regular readers of this walke… more

Rambling has gone out of fashion? From RAMBLINGBOB in The Adventures of Rambling Bob (467 days old)

Some miscreant smacked my window with a rock at half four this morning. I leapt out of my bed and rushed to the broken frame in time to see the bandit sprinting off into the twilight. Attached to t… more

The Homecoming From RAMBLINGBOB in The Adventures of Rambling Bob (480 days old)

...I walked through my old front door for the first time in an age. The door, heavy and unlubed creaked on its hinges and took some mighty thrust to ejaculate the heavymound of newspapers and junk … more

The Horror of the Precumia Monster (Abridged) From RAMBLINGBOB in The Adventures of Rambling Bob (487 days old)

He was a big brown, hairy fucker with razor teeth and nineteen eyes and fourteen cocks. I tamed the prick and rode upon his back across the valley to safety. Ha! Rambling Bob returns!… more

The Perilous Mountains of Precumia… From RAMBLINGBOB in The Adventures of Rambling Bob (517 days old)

…hath claimed many a kinky rambler. The Precumia, an unforgiving and hostile range of sheer drops and glens of pain and shame lay ahead of me like a big hassle. I was in the midst of a snow storm, … more

The Rambler Returns From RAMBLINGBOB in The Adventures of Rambling Bob (523 days old)

The traitor bastard. Some minute and frankly scrotal faced young Japanese looking boy, with a rather contentious irksome face tried to chop me in sectons, and there, above me, Jez Winklepicker, tru… more

I can has a rambling? From RAMBLINGBOB in The Adventures of Rambling Bob (531 days old)

I awoke with a bruised dome. My first thoughts, randomly, were about my love, and the fine Ramblers Broth she would cook over open flame. How I longed to taste that soupy glory with the wonderment … more

The Cave, Our Narrator and the Fate of Rambling everywhere From RAMBLINGBOB in The Adventures of Rambling Bob (539 days old)

Inside the cave - foosty, murky nothingness. Trepidation t'were mein footfalls filled. In the darkness something brushes against my bearded face - it could have been some bizarre strain of fooke… more

The Annexe Cave of Rim (Time After Time) From RAMBLINGBOB in The Adventures of Rambling Bob (561 days old)

The annexe cave of rim sits mournfully at the foot of razor sharp, mountainous valleys of pain. Rambling Bob resides there in misery, and it is my sworn duty to find our faithful narrator. I wra… more

Death in the Shadows From RAMBLINGBOB in The Adventures of Rambling Bob (569 days old)

The room smelled of man musk. One solitary shard of light cut through a small nook between a boarded up window. I heard a groan and I stepped forward. The General, his bald head just visible in the… more

Face To Shadow with The General From RAMBLINGBOB in The Adventures of Rambling Bob (588 days old)

Everything had grown eerily quiet. The high pitched death squeaks the Clarts made as Hom-Ken skewered their heads faded into the jungle. Even the strange Goidian beasts noises which has hithert… more

The Horror! From RAMBLINGBOB in The Adventures of Rambling Bob (591 days old)

We followed the remaining Clarts into a large clearing which spread out into a horrible vomit green vista of shame. There, the General was waiting. I saw his shadow in the trees - and he sent forwa… more

The Revenge Begins... From RAMBLINGBOB in The Adventures of Rambling Bob (608 days old)

...managed to attack the party of Clarts in the dead of night... ...Cirius Duckman dead... ...some Clarts scattered over to the western shore... ...followed...… more

The Pursuit Continues... From RAMBLINGBOB in The Adventures of Rambling Bob (611 days old)

Hom-Ken made us a frugal lunch, but he's no chef and I struggled to eat the tangled mix of berries and crew-bird innards. We followed the hideous clart party by night - at a safe distance. Un… more

The Pursuit Begins.... From RAMBLINGBOB in The Adventures of Rambling Bob (612 days old)

A rustle in the hedgerow and suddenly everything is happening all at once.… more

i am on facebook.com From xlnoble in X Love is Noble (626 days old)

i got a facebook.com id.... i would like to meet with you on facebook.com if you want you can seach on facebook.com me as Luke Noble..... my profile -->> thanks so much my friends nice to meet y… more

Death In The Low Light From RAMBLINGBOB in The Adventures of Rambling Bob (630 days old)

...the blade fell... ...Hom-Ken turned - he heard the swipe as the weapon of death-deliver cut the air like a bamboo dildo. His eyes turned red and I quivered. In a lightening flash he spun a… more

The moment of Truth (In which the temporary narrator tries to murder his nemesis) From RAMBLINGBOB in The Adventures of Rambling Bob (648 days old)

Hom-Ken was some yards ahead when he put up an open palm as a signal to halt. He had heard something in the jungle just beyond some tittenalarm trees. I knew to be silent and hold my breath. Scrotu… more

The Waiting Game From RAMBLINGBOB in The Adventures of Rambling Bob (655 days old)

Like a repeat offender with an unexpected parole grant - I waited for my chance to pounce. We took our lunch by a babbling brook. A small glade had appeared - a welcome respite from the tangling gr… more

The Thick Bush From RAMBLINGBOB in The Adventures of Rambling Bob (660 days old)

I slept under the dense foliage of a rubummer tree. Droplets of water from the perspiring tree rolled off the heart shaped leaves and onto my face. It was hot and sticky in the Clart jungle. And I cou… more

Trek in the Vicious land of Clarts From RAMBLINGBOB in The Adventures of Rambling Bob (672 days old)

Today, Hom-Ken and I found the badly mangled body of Fuk Mei Raw up a Stigmatism Tree on the bank of the falls of consequence. No other survivors from the Naughty Nun's wreckage... Jez… more